I have never been very good at dealing with certain things, mostly emotional crap.. So I have gotten good at burying it pretty deep. Recently certain things have arisen that I am having a little more trouble avoiding.. This is not good! Especially as they are things I can do nothing about and there appears to be no future in it. It is not the end of the world, will just have to bury it deeper than usual. There are plus sides to being emotionally stunted ;).
What does help is that I have been offered the opportunity for a fresh start. Could be an opportunity to leave everything else behind and start again. I'm also not good with personal connections. I have never been one that particularly 'cherishes' friendships or anything like that. I don't dislike people but I just don't necessarily relate to them. When I do it does not exactly go to plan and I almost always end up disappointed. If there is one thing that I am worse at than personal connections, it is having connections I don't know what to do with or don't know where I stand with them. It would be interesting to start out somewhere new, where no one knows me, no expectations and no responsibilities. This is the opportunity I may have. I don't think it would be too much of an issue for me, I have never suffered really with the problem of missing people so much, with a couple of possible exceptions... And these exceptions usually turn out to be somewhat of a one sided deal.
Had a feeling this year would be interesting, and one way or the other, it certainly will be.
Another bonus is that it might leave me with only one other language to learn rather than three.. That can't be bad! Don't mind learning 3 languages, but only if it is worth my while, and at this point I am not sure that it would be.
Anyway, certainly a few things to ponder. Unless I find a reason not to, I think this opportunity will be taken!
Take care world!
~Martin
Are you serious about this?? What about the people that have made connections with you? Just because you are damaged doesn't mean everyone around you is. There are plenty of people that care about you! At least with your original plan I knew there were people there that would take care of you. So something happened and it didn't go the way you had hoped, that's life buddy, deal with it! Get your ass around mum's later ok? She misses you. Don't tell her about this though! - Kat
ReplyDeleteDear God woman! You jumped on that one fast lol. Didn't we already discuss this? You know it is not about that. Would really rather not discuss it here though if you don't mind. I will call you later ok?
DeleteYou ain't called yet matey boy! It just strikes me that you may have given up a little too easily. You say the interest was one sided but there is a post by someone that suggests otherwise. That is rather a large number of F's for no interest. Anyway, change of subject. You are going to have to set me up with one of these blogs young man. Might give me something to do while the kids are at school, other than stare at my wall each day. - Kat
ReplyDeleteHaha that is not exactly what I said. Anyway, it is ok, what is done is done. Please drop it on here ok? :p.
DeleteEasy to set up a blog.. first of all create a Gmail account. Although I am pretty certain you had one before. I will be over before the weekend anyway, so will set it up for you then ok?